April 13, 2006

New Orleans, LA

The expansion move of the XFBL league offices to sunny San Diego California has been met with some major protests from numerous “Left Coast” organizations.  “With serious negotiations between the league and several cities west of Texas, we figured we would get ahead of the game and split up our offices to better serve the league” Commissioner Chris Mongogna said.  But with all this protesting going on I just might suggest to the league owners we look to expand towards the Atlantic Coast.

Mongogna is referring to the NAACP and the Rainbow Coalitions threat of a national boycott of any sponsors of the XFBL as well as a boycott of any company who calls the Windham Building home, which is where the league was to set up it’s West Coast offices in downtown San Diego.

A spokesman for the NAACP and the Rainbow Coalition’s combined efforts was quoted as saying, “In the time we live in nowadays there is no room for black knights, we will do everything we can in our power to make the team change their name.”

Belleville owner, Keith Lauf could not be reached for comment.  But his office did issue the following statement:  We mean no disrespect to anyone in regards to our team nick- name.  We will work with anyone to soften tensions in our community.  We have a meeting scheduled with the league office to discuss rectifying the situation”. 

There have been smaller organizations taking offense with other teams in the league (now that the NAACP has started it’s protests)

The group named OLD-Organization for Ladies who are Depressed because of their age, have said the Gray Sox name is offensive to people with gray hair.

The Religious Right has taken offense to the Bangers and Slammers, saying no one should ever “bang or slam” until they are married.  As well as the Holy Rollers, saying no one holy would ever roll dice.

The organization named PIG-Police Integrity Group has said the Hitmen and the Outlaws are what the children of the country will want to become if subjected to those types of names for an entire summer.

Steve Irwin and his association called MATE- Men Against bad Treatment of the Environment have issues with the Westbank franchise for having 5 lizards in captivity.

Commissioner Mongogna has vowed to fight each one of these groups and said he will not be bullied by "these left wing liberals”.

Scoops McGillicutty

THE XFBL DUGOUT